theblacksymphony:

If this is your husband, I have just endured a 2 hour train ride from Philadelphia listening to this loser and his friends brag about their multiple affairs and how their wives are too stupid to catch on. Oh, please reblog the shit out of this…

rehfan:

Must have cute embarrassment on blog forever.

2xfetuskind:

nohetero:

discover card wont stop sending me spam letters trying to get me to sign up for a credit card. unfortunately for them they included a business reply mail envelope that they have to pay the postage for when used

This is horrible, im at a starbucks and i just broke down laughing, everyone is looking at me and someone asked whats so funny and I just whispered “Dickbutt” and the dude net to me starting dying too this is infectioous

algrenion:

chel-the-fabulous-asstec:

lalondes:

kevinprices:

lalondes:

if you sold all your eggs you would make $3.2 billion

your uterus is worth $3.2 billion

#and a nutsack is worth like $25 and half a pb&j

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS MEANS EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A PERIOD YOU LOSE $8,000???????????? TERRIBLE

Maybe that’s why we get so emotional

#this is it #we cracked it #the secret of periods

simplymykayla:

sometimes you just gotta take a step back and look at this site

thefrogman:

Warp Dogs.

spencerspocketcondom:

jesuschrist-:

we’ve all seen penises we weren’t supposed to see

Pete wentz

ufocatcheraddict:

Okay can we like talk about this for a minute?

yaomao:

slimewizard:

never not reblog

THAT’S IT I’M MOVING TO FINLAND.

thedramaticsneeze:

hoshigumayuugi:

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early

YOU  PUT THIS IN WORDS